Thursday, October 3, 2013

Medical science marches on

This spring Local Hospital installed a new hand washing system. Apparently the old system of soap and water wasn't doing what they wanted (what they wanted I'm not sure, because we were using it to wash our hands).

The new system they installed involves, okay, soap and water (revolutionary, huh)? But it also involves a new technology- the hand-washing entertainment system. REALLY.

Studies have recommended that you wash them for 15 seconds to kill/drown the majority of germs, and most people don't do the full quarter-minute. So, in order to keep you washing, it tries to keep you entertained. And what better way to do that than with a screen? After all, in the 4 million years since we split off from the rest of the primates, staring at screens is what our species truly excels at.

As soon as you pump soap onto your hands, the show begins. Almost always there's a timer on it, counting backwards from 15, to make sure you scrub for your allotted time.

Usually it also involves telling you the weather outside. Which is, if you think about it, a real "fuck you." If you're washing your hands at the nursing station it means you're working, and there's no way you're getting outside to enjoy the day no matter how nice it is.

It also features all kinds of other stuff. Here's some examples.

If you like sports, it keeps you updated on scores while you think about your buddies with the day off having a tailgate at the game:








Sometimes you get a bit of semi-wisdom fortune-cookie-ish sayings. Like you really need that while trying to get an unhelmeted motorcyclist's shit out from under your fingernails.








Cute sayings are also common fodder. Who needs a self-help book when you can just get a daily dose of happy-happy joy-joy by washing your hands?


 




Ever find yourself suddenly struck by a panic attack that you'll be on a quiz show and not know the answers (or, if it's Jeopardy!, the questions)? Fear not! The magic handwashing gadget is happy to share pointless trivia.






For those at other hospitals using this system, feel free to send me shots of your hand-washing entertainment. I'll edit out any identifying info if needed, and perhaps make this a regular feature if popular enough.

NOTE - Dr. Grumpy, Inc. will not be responsible for any water damage your phone may suffer in the mad rush to scrub poop & blood off your hands and get your phone out during the allotted 15 seconds.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you could get in on the action and run old Dr. Grumpy blog entries on the screen?

Anonymous said...

http://aem.asm.org/content/77/9/2898.full

I generally avoid using the soap dispensers in bathrooms. I just wash with water, then use my own hand sanitizer...

Anonymous said...

The hospital that's part of the university that I work at just has people who are "hand hygiene observers" who are kind of like secret shoppers. They have a web site or an app where they enter their observations.

Mike said...

My hospital in Georgia put these in last year. I keep hoping they'll start letting me watch my shows on Netflix, albeit in 15 second increments.

bluetoothbuddha said...

Is it premature to wish for some porn on those screens?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Nah, then you'd just have to wash your hands again.

Anonymous said...

Our unit based hand washing results are posted. Gel in, gel out, wash routinely. Half our units are always at >120% of goal. How is that?

Hildy said...

Loved your note at the bottom. You clearly figured out how to manage it, though.

Ms. Donna said...

Blood and poop? I think (I know) it takes longer than 15 sec. to deal with that. Esp. if a squirmy toddler is involved or observing.

thethingspatientssay said...

So, why are they still using soap and water instead of sanitizer solution like the rest of the world?

misterque said...

It really looks like you were using white out directly on the screen to protect patient privacy. Likely you would have to keep using different hand wash stations if you were using white out.

Scrub Ninja said...

You get poop under your fingernails?

Doesn't your hospital let you wear gloves?

Stacey Gordon said...

You have got to be in California... This wouldn't fly in here in Alabama...

Lucy said...

They wash their hands in Alabama?

Anonymous said...

MRSA Verses
C Dif Riffs

a.generic doc said...

Damn, you must practice in some classy hospital. In generichospital we just have signs to hum "Happy Birthday" to ourselves.

 
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