Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Have you considered earplugs?

Patient quote of the day:

"I always keep a gun on my nightstand, to help me sleep. The neighbors have this stupid dog that starts barking around midnight. So I fire a few shots out the window, and that shuts him up until morning."

23 comments:

Allison said...

Well, this is practical.

Anonymous said...

To me it's a question of economics. Earplugs are reusable, gunpowder is not.

Bernadine said...

I think the gunshots wake the owners, who then grab the dog and lock him in the house. I think the dog is incapable of understanding his cause and effect in this case.

BLASTULA said...

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-may-1-2012/back-in-black---artisanal-foods

Now i will have to picture Lewis Black as Dr. grumpy!

Anonymous said...

I think that this person shouldn't be allowed to have a gun. Obviously this has been going on for some time and he hasn't hit the damn dog yet. He's a safety hazard.

Julie said...

you'ld think by now they'ld have managed to actually hit the dog ...

Class factotum said...

What a great idea.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy - love the blog! I'm a rising M4, and these are fantastic.

Lewis Black went on a rant last night on The Daily Show about the abuse of the word 'artisanal' which immediately made me think of you. Watch the video if you haven't seen it yet, I think you'll appreciate it:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-may-1-2012/back-in-black---artisanal-foods

Officer Cynical said...

"And then there's all them unsolved shootin's on the next block over. Odd: they always happen right after the dog barks. But I ain't worried cuz I got my gun."

Mark In Mayenne said...

I reckon if he pointed the gun carefully in *just* the right direction, he could shut up the dog for longer than that.

DataGirl said...

Sounds like your patient is my office mate who recently called his neighbor to tell him that he was going to shoot his dog and that the next time the man sees his dog the dog will be dead. No kidding. This is what I deal with all day.

Mad Jack said...

Ha!
Ha!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!

I almost choked to death on my morning bourbon.

Anonymous said...

"Have you considered target practice?",
otherwise a pair of .38's make some good ad hoc earplugs.

Packer said...

I would like to know where Grumpyville is specifically, to avoid the off chance that I retire and move their accidentally.

Forearmed is forewarned , or something like that.

Li'l Azathoth said...

"I tried earplugs once, but they just jammed in the barrel."

Christina LMT said...

Wow, I guess your patient never heard of the Four Rules. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

It is incumbent of you to call the authorities about your patient, Dr. Grumpy.

Anonymous said...

"That's how long it takes him to fetch all the bullets."

Anonymous said...

"One of these days, I'm going to switch to silver bullets."

Mary said...

Around here the neighbor would probably see him his gun shot and raise him one.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me like its not only the dog that's 'barking'......

Lo said...

I'm afraid I find this one hard to laugh at. I've never forgotten an incident in Ontario that happened 30 years ago. Idiot used a real gun with bullets as a starter pistol. Police tracked him down and informed him the bullet went through a living room window and killed a pregnant woman. I guess that would be two counts of manslaughter?

Darren Mcandrews said...

Haha! That’s a hilarious anecdote! But yes, aside from such an outrageous measure, one can simply buy a handy pair of earplugs to shut out any unwanted noise. =) Wearing earplugs is also convenient even when you’re not sleeping. For instance, it’s best to wear earplugs if you’re going to a rock concert, wherein you’ll be exposed to extremely loud noises, since the earplugs can definitely protect your ears and your hearing.

Darren Mcandrews

 
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