Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Medical Guidelines

Okay, medicine is full of guidelines and acronyms. Phrases like SOAP, BRAT, TURP, CAPRIE, HIT, CABG, CHOP, etc. all have meaning to different specialties.

So (and thank you to reader Kaitlin for bringing this to my attention) there's a scale used to help assess vomiting during pregnancy, called the Pregnancy-Unique Quantification of Emesis index, aka PUQE.

Really. PUQE.

I'm not making this up- Journal of Midwifery and Womens Health. 2009;54(6):430-444.

I can just see something like this:


Frantic husband: "Doctor, my wife is still throwing up!"

Doctor: "What's her PUQE index?"

Frantic husband: "Um, looks like pizza she ate last night, and maybe a cookie. Could be some pickles, too. Hard to tell."

7 comments:

student dr. blaze said...

i also like GOMER/GOMERE & GORK. ;-)

the best thing, though, is when they'd put such acronyms on an exam (like PLISSIT, for example) and then ask what the S stood for. they never specified *which* S, of course.

the one for breaking bad news, SPIKES, really makes me lmao, too, as it always gives me mental images of a med student, sitting there trying to remember the damn acronym, instead of focusing on what they're saying to the patient.

Student Doctor: "I'm sorry, m'am, but you're going to die."
Patient: "But I only came in for a cough!"
Student Doctor: "Damn, wrong S...um, S...oh! Setting Up...how much would you like to know about your condition?...no, wait, that's P, patient perception...um...what can you tell me about your condition...erm, no...."

;-)

word verification: Palinuch (<--that's a whole 'nother post...)

Disgruntled RPh said...

You just know that the powers that be that name this stuff are having a good laugh right now!

me said...

CAPRIE???

I like "PPP" as a nursing diagnosis...

Piss Poor Protoplasm

NB ~ confirmation word =
unthedoc

Square Peg Guy said...

"PUQE," eh? I'd hate to see the acronym for an index of diarrhea.

Hospital Lab Tech said...

I had a request for various blood tests come down with the clinical details 'FOS'.

The results were abnormal so I called the doc to enquire as to the nature of this disease and whether the abnormal results were anticipated.

I learned that 'FOS' means Full of Sh*t. I wasn't sure whether this was literal or figurative.

Fiz said...

Just don't! There's a D and V. bug going on round here!

RxJess said...

Hey, I'm a pharmacy student and intern on winter break so I was just catching up on your blog and came across this post. This quarter we also learned of a great index, it's to assess the severity of BPH and it's called the I-PSS scale!

 
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